Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Reflections around flat-share

So…this flat-share-thing. Like I have said before, I had my first ever flat-share-experience in Málaga, and although I was a little anxious about it, it turned out great. We became great friends and it was very handy to live the same place as my best friends when going out, having meals together and that sort of thing. Unfortunately we just had that one month, before Lucas went back to Poland, and I went to Barcelona. Brad is the only one left in the flat, and he is complaining that the new flat mates are far from as cool as me and Lucas, haha!

Anyway, so after my intensive house-hunt here in Barcelona, I accepted when Fernando offered me the room. At the time of the showing of the flat, I didn’t have the best gut-feeling in the world, and although I really like the idea of always trusting your gut feeling, I was stressed, pressed for time (and money!) and pushed it aside a little cause I desperately needed a place to call home.

In Málaga I lived with friends, here I live with … a person I share common areas with, a person I feel is not really keen on sharing those common areas at all but has to due to high living cost. 

Fernando is always at home after work, and he is always in the living room and he is always watching TV. In Catalan. In case you wonder, I do NOT speak Catalan, I have had more than enough trying to learn Spanish. So when he is watching TV in Catalan, and I don’t understand a word, I don’t feel like hanging out in the small living room. There is just not really space for me. Our chemistry is not the best one, and I think we just have very different personalities. So most of the time, I stick to my room, which is not the biggest and most wonderful place.

Just thinking about what could be, and how many “personalities” are out there I am not one to complain, at least all that is going on is that our personalities crash a little. 

He is a very methodical person, and that is fine. It’s always tidy and clean in the apartment and that is a big plus. We have a cleaning schedule and every weekend we clean the whole apartment, one weekend each. Things have their “home” in the flat, and should always stay there. The toaster lives on top of the fridge. And one day after using it, I left it on the kitchen table and forgot to put it back, which in turn made him quite upset. Another time I forgot to turn off the water heater system after having a shower, and this also made him quite upset. Or that time I put my broccoli on his shelf in the fridge and he told me I could only use the one shelf he has dedicated for me. But what happened yesterday is basically getting to the point I cannot understand. 

I was in Switzerland this weekend, and my cleaning weekend was this same one. But I was away. So I didn’t clean. I came back yesterday, Tuesday, and a few minutes after he came home from work (I had just arrived home a short while before) he knocked my door and complained I hadn’t cleaned this weekend. I explained that I was well aware, and that it was because I had been away on travel. Then he started yelling at me, and being all nasty and rude and telling me that was not an acceptable excuse! And I wasn’t even sure to take him serious or not. How is being away not an excuse to not have cleaned on Saturday afternoon? I said I had no plans of trying to escape my duties and that I was going to clean that same day, I was just unpacking first. All in all, according to him I have made the greatest sin in not having cleaned this weekend. I wish I could just not care, but I do care. I don't like people being so upset with me, especially when in my opinion there is no reason to. And most importantly I like home to be a nice, peaceful, and wonderful place. Not a place where I have to tip-toe around and be afraid to do something that will upset the person I am sharing with.

I wonder if there will be a big drama when I go away for Christmas and stay away for a few weeks...


  1. Uff da, håper det ordner seg ! Jeg deler også leilighet, men deler med en jeg kjente fra før. Vi er veldig gode venner (selvom vi krangler litt i blandt vi og) (: Det er jeg glad for.

  2. Takk for det Nora :) Tror det er en fordel å være gode venner med de man deler leilighet med ja!

  3. That doesn't sound pleasant at all. I've shared a flat one and I hated it. I was miserable. But I do understand it's difficult. Maybe you should talk to him and say you didn't appreciate his reaction. It really was uncalled for :(

  4. Yeah, it is difficult. Especially with someone so different from me I guess. Maybe I will search for something else in not too long...

  5. Wow, that sucks. There are probably a million little things you could do to make things easier, but with this guy, I doubt it'll ever be easy. I'd start looking for a new place. Are you still taking Spanish classes? Maybe ask around in your class for people looking for housing or coming soon and getting a place together?

    And seriously? What's with this guy? It's not like your flat will burst into flames if the toilet is scrubbed three days late.

  6. Thanks Carolyn!! It's been on my mind for a while already, I'll see what I'll do after new years..